On collapsing time, or, not everyone will be taken into the future

Because I will never know peace, and apparently the memory of most public commentators is the same length as my cat’s, the bad plague takes are sadly back. This time they come to us via – I swear to god – NBC News Opinion and one Michael Oren who is, as will become clear, emphatically not a medieval historian and could have just not written the garbage that I am about to yell about.

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Podcast alert: Medieval sex demons, cold wet women and the plague on Storyteller

Last week, I had the absolute pleasure of chatting with Lisa for the Storyteller podcast. Here we discuss sex demons, sex, women, and also exactly what my problem is and why I am like this. Enjoy!

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Plague Police round up, or, I am tired, and you people give me no peace

Look it is hot here in London. The sort of hot that London is not supposed to be and was also not built for. Your girl doesn’t like or function well in the heat. As a result, my brain is very tired and slow. Also, petty. So, this week despite the fact that this blog has called for the abolition of the police, I am back on my Plague Police bullshit. This is because we all live in hell, and as a result are dealing with the generalised basics who are still, still, still, even now going around saying stupid things about the plague. Presumably this is just to wind me up when I am already in a bad mood about the heat.

Well congrats, bitches. Here’s a rant about how you are wrong and I hate you.

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On Sex with Demons

In an extremely normal turn of events, this week I was forced to learn that Donald Trump, having never left his bullshit, was of course on it. The leader of the free world has been retweeting videos made by the good Dr Stella Immanuel, a Houston-based pediatrician who says the things he wants to hear. (Masks = bad. The drug that he has a financial interest in = good.) Turns out Dr Immanuel also has some, uh, spicier opinions as well.

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WHAT’S GOING ON WITH THE MOON? a post, because everyone is confused


This Dr Sara Öberg Strådal, the other half of Medieval Dick Twitter and kick- ass art historian working on medieval medical visual culture is BACK.  Follow her on Twitter for excellent meme action, and generally correct opinions.

Look, I know that we are all worried about the moon right now, because some baby tiktok witches put a hex on her. Why hex the moon? IDK. Probs for the same reason as all those men want to blow up the moon.

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On the Agas map of London, medieval and early modern cities, and life

Because I am an historian and can do stuff like this and call it work, I spent several hours yesterday playing with this incredible zoomable version of the Agas map of Early Modern London. If you just went over there and played with that and didn’t read the rest of this post I would make peace with it eventually. But why not do both?

Now that you are aware that this map exist, if you are still here first – thanks! Second, there are hundreds of reasons why this map is so amazing, but today we are going to talk about how it offers us a rare glimpse into everyday life in Early Modern London.

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If you’re going to talk about the Dark Ages, you had better be right.

Because I am absolutely responsible for all of my own problems, my lovely readers often send me bad medieval takes in order to watch me get mad. This is effective. Today, one of my fantastic Patreon patrons did so by sending me this truly terrible take in the New York Times. Yeah you think it is going to be an innocuous take about messaging in the American presidential election because Thomas L. Friedman is chirpily writing about what “Should be Biden’s Bumper Sticker”, but then, well…

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On martyrdom and nationalism

This week, at the behest of the good Dr Öberg Strådal, I have been thinking about martyrdom, as one does. As someone with a documented interest in saints it could be that this particular sideline thought is just a result of, you know, being a dork-ass medievalist who should get out more but can’t because there is a pandemic on. Instead, however, I am forced to admit that this pondering has been spurred by a tweet from none other than Trump’s lawyer (a thing I defo knew and did not have to google), Jenna Ellis.

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Podcast (well, webinaire) alert: The Medieval Sex Apocalypse on Drinking with Historians

I was absolutely thrilled to join Varsha and Matt on Drinking with Historians last Friday. My wifi was bad, but the vibes were big! We chatted about sexuality, the apocalypse, preaching, and cops. Enjoy!

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